Home Sweet(?) Home

These girls. 

I miss them. Sure, I've already seen Julie and Paige multiple times since we moved out. And we only moved out like a week ago (not even that long).

But I miss them. I miss living with them.

So I moved home for the summer. And I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

I like home. I like Heber, I like my house. I love my family, and I love having an amazing mother who will do my dishes and cook me food.

But still. It's so different than what I've been used to the last 8 months.

I loved living on my own. I loved being able to have the ability to leave whenever I wanted, go where ever I wanted, and return whenever I wanted. I was the only one who had to deal with the consequences (mostly no sleep).

Don't get me wrong. My parents are great. Ya, it sucks having a curfew again, but it's not unreasonable. I know and understand why I have to be home at a certain time.

I just miss it. I miss Ben, Taylor, Conner, Jay, Jesse, and all those other Orem boys showing up at my apartment with no warning.

I miss Stacie and Brooklyn and Christina living upstairs, with Suzanne and Cassie just a couple minutes away in Heritage.

I miss staying up late, talking to Paige, Julie, and Rachel about stupid things. I miss finding new music in the middle of the night. I miss looking at the clock and wondering why we're up so late, then staying up for another two hours. I miss fighting for space, so that I can take a nap on the couch. I miss talking about who is dating whom in the ward, obsessing over the latest RM who has caught our eye, and wondering why we're still single over bowls of honey popcorn and cups of herbal tea.

I miss it all. And it's only been a week.

I just feel like I'm going to miss so much. Being a half hour away. And soon I start work. 10 hours a day. 4 days a week.

Everyone else is in new apartment complexes. New wards. Meeting new people. Making new friends.

I'm at home. With the same people who I've known since I was 6. And all my friends are in Provo.

I loved college. I didn't want to leave. I didn't think it'd be this bad though.

I wasn't homesick for Heber during school. But now that I'm back in Heber, I'm homesick for Provo. I even go down everyday for work, and I still miss it.

Oh BYU. Oh freedom. I miss you.

Baby come back.

Skinny Love.

This song is what's getting me through finals week. I might have a little bit of an obsession with this girl already. Check out Shelter, People Help The People, and Terrible Love by her as well. And the original of this song, Skinny Love, by the amazing Bon Iver.
You know what else is helping me survive finals week? Greek yogurt. Popcorn. 5 Hour Energys. And this playlist. My focus playlist. Instrumental music, with just enough bass and excitement to keep me awake. Explosions in the Sky, God Is An Astronaut, and This Will Destroy You are amazing bands. Click on the names and it'll take you to my favorite song by each. Also this one, by Explosions in the Sky. They're so good, I couldn't just pick one song.
You'll have to download Spotify to access the playlist. It's free though, and totally worth it.
So do it. Listen to the goodness that's keeping me alive.

Late night prate.

I'm sorry. I'm going to ramble for a moment here.
Actually, why am I apologizing? It's my blog. I'll do what I want.

Why do I always do my best work in the middle of the night? I like sleep. I want to sleep. But life hates me and won't let me. Because I can't get anything done during the day. So it gets completed now.
I apply for the advertising program in the fall. I need a 60-second video saying why I should be accepted. I want to make it before June, so my friends who are cinematic geniuses can help me before their missions. But I have very few ideas. Which concerns me.
I had a brief moment of inspiration in the car, driving back to Provo from Heber tonight. I believe statements perhaps? I believe in color. I believe in bare feet. I believe in change. I believe in driving with no destination. I believe in traveling. I believe in singing as loudly as possible to The Eagles and John Denver with the windows down. I believe in inspiration coming at the most unlikely times. Good thing I've started carrying a notebook around with me everywhere.
How will this help me get into the advertising program? I don't know. I need more inspiration. Lets go on another drive.
This might be the first script I've ever written for a presentation before. I usually just make things up as I go along. This is a big step for me. Want to hear why you should buy a GoPro HD camera? Let me tell you. GoLive. GoShare.
Biology is the worst. Especially environmental biology. No, I don't want to study 40 pages of science just so I'll still have no idea what is on your 30 question test. Am I going to fail? Probably. Do I care? At this point, no. My parents will though.
I want to learn another language. Signed up for French. I'm excited. We'll see how it goes.
Am I the only one who finds this video hilarious? Probably not a good sign that I laughed so hard at this.
Dresses and skirts are impossible to find nowadays. How come everything is so dang short? All I want is a cute skirt that goes to my knees and that doesn't make me look like I have 4 kids, den mother, feed my kids all organic food, and president of the PTA.
You know the best study music? Explosions in the Sky, God is an Astronaut, Blackmill, Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack, and Last of the Mohicans soundtrack. I'm mostly loving Explosions in the Sky and God is an Astronaut though. They're amazing.
Why does everyone love Darcy so much in Pride and Prejudice? He's a jerk the entire movie, until like the last 20 minutes. Although he does have some quality lines.
I might possibly have a chick crush on Keira Knightly though. Weird? She's great.
I have to carry 5 camp chairs to class tomorrow morning. Trying to map out a way to do that, without walking 15 minutes and passing through the middle of campus, is not an easy task.
I lost my ID card yesterday. For the 2nd time. Which wouldn't be a big deal, except for that's how I buy food. And get into my office at work. Problems.
I don't want to move out. I want to stay in Provo. Yet at the same time, I'm so ready for some change. I need new people around me. Except my roommates. I like them. They should stay.
Would it be worth it for me to wake up early tomorrow and go for a run? At this point, probably not. I'm barely gonna sleep as it is.
I can't wait until I have a dishwasher again.
I miss my puppy.
I want to go on a horseback ride.
All this sunshine has been so nice. Why do you have to rain on my happiness Utah? I haven't even managed to get a tan yet.
Finals are just So. Much. Fun.

Serenity now, kids.
Serenity now.

Highs and Lows

Some low moments from the last few weeks:

• Not doing so hot on some of my tests - who knew religion could be a hard class?
• Even with 4 bowls and 8 plates, I got to the point where I had 2 clean dishes... why yes, I am excited for when I'll live somewhere with a dishwasher again.
• My trusty CHI straightener of 2 years died on me.
• My goal of keeping my room clean lasted for a week. At this moment, I can't see my floor.
• Realizing I move out in a month and a half - I don't want to leave.
• Also realizing how much I truly suck at writing missionary letters. 3 months in between letters is too long.

Luckily, I'm a firm believer that no matter what is going on in life, there is some good to be found. So here is a lovely list of some high moments from the last few weeks:

• Getting a 98% on my Intro to Advertising test! The testing center screen even said 'fantastic' next to my score. I can die happy.
• I also got one of the highest scores in my class. Thus, I earned a prize from my Captain America-obsessed professor. Which happens to be a collector's edition comic book from before I was born. And yes, it is awesome.
• I bought a car. Have I mentioned that? It's my pride and joy.
• Going to the temple with good friends.
• Some of the previously mentioned friends getting mission calls to cool places.
• Getting letters from missionaries who are already in cool places. And the MTC.
• Buying tickets to the Fun. concert the end of the month!
• Making plans for a weekend escape to St. George with some amazing girls.
• Eating my first J-Dawg. I'm not a fanatic, but it was pretty good.
• Purchasing midnight tickets for the Hunger Games movie.
• Finding so much good music! Like the new songs playing on the side, as well as songs like this one, this one, this one, this one, and finally, this one. Listen to them all. They're good. I promise. And the last video is actually a band from Provo. And they're awesome.
• Running into old friends on Macy's runs at 1 in the morning for chocolate milk. Then leaving with Arizonas, instead of chocolate milk.
• Going and seeing the play Emma at Pioneer Memorial Theatre with my mom, dad, and Sandy. I found it quite agreeable.
• Watching my first episode of Walking Dead - I'm actually not sure if this should go on the 'high's list. Getting into a new TV show is definitely something that I don't need.

Well, that's my life right now. Can I just say how much I'm enjoying it all? Because I really am. Every second.

At Peace.

Today, as I was walking past the gardens in between the HFAC and the MOA I realized something.

I am completely, totally and absolutely content.

With school, my life, everything.
It just kind of hit me.
I love my school. I don't care how zoobie that makes me sound, I love BYU with all my heart. I love the campus, I love the professors, I love the students. I love having a professor bring up a scripture or a quote from a prophet in the middle of their lecture. Sometimes it can seem a bit overkill, but I generally don't mind. Because it just all fits together so perfectly. It just makes sense.
I love my job. It's not the most exciting thing, I don't make tons of money, and I will admit its definitely not something I want to do for the rest of my life. But its perfect for right now. I like what I'm doing. I get to choose my hours. I can work as much or as little as I want. I get to do my homework while I'm at work. And while I might not know anyone there (except for Allyson) I really like my boss. I enjoy going to work everyday. I even look forward to it a lot of the time.
I love my classes. Even though they just started and I'm not quite sure what I've gotten myself into, I love them. Most of them anyway. I'm really thinking I chose the right major. Advertising is just perfect for me. I don't mind reading my advertising textbook. I'm actually kind of enjoying it even. That seems like a good sign to me. I've been thinking about minoring in film as well. And my Intro to Film class today made me want to study it even more.
I love the people I'm surrounded by. This could probably go along with the 'I love my school' paragraph above. I've met some great people. People who I've only associated with once or twice, and people who I see and talk to everyday. I've got a great FHE group and a great ward. My roommates are amazing, we all get along so well. Maybe too well. I've made friends and grown so close to certain people, I can't believe I just met them in the last few months. There are so many people who have already left such a strong impact on my life, I almost can't believe it.

Maybe it was just the fact that despite being the beginning of January, it felt like spring today. Fresh, clean, hopeful. It just made me think, and on my bus ride home I began to truly understand how happy I am with my life right now.
This song has been on almost constant repeat the last few days. No matter how rough my life gets, I just need to remember my realization today.

I've got everything I want.
I've got everything I need.
And there is absolutely nothing I want to change.

Just some thoughts...

I haven't posted in a while, so just thought I'd post an update on life. Nothing much is going on. School, work, sleep, school. Thats about it. Last weekend one of the girls in my FHE family, Brooklyn, invited my apartment and a bunch of other people up to her cabin on Mirror Lake Highway. We spent the night there, then went four-wheeling the next day. It was so much fun!
So Halloween yesterday. I never really appreciated this holiday until yesterday. There were so many people dressed up on campus. My friend Dan dressed up like a Stormtrooper, so that was interesting going to class with him. He wasn't the only one who went all out though. I also saw: 3 Marios, 5 Waldos, Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, The Scarecrow, Jack Sparrow, Captain Hook, 2 Peter Pans, Legolas, Link, Harry Potter under his invisibility cloak (the cloak wasn't working too well), Sharks, The Dread Pirate Roberts (Wesley from Princess Bride), Han Solo, Princess Amidala, an Angry Bird, someone dressed up as their American Heritage professor, a Cow, Phantom of the Opera, many zombies, a Banana, Chewbaca, Buzz Lightyear, Jesse (from Toy Story), Koolaid Man, Snow White, Cinderella, Mega Mind, Minions, and many more. My favorite though? Hands down, this guy wins:

Thats right kids. That is the Sexy Sax Man. I was privileged to listen to the sweet sound of George Michaels all day, thanks to him. Definitely made my day that much better. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, watch this video. It will change your life.
Well now that Halloween is over, time for the next holiday celebration. Bring on No-Shave November.

I'm loving it.

Oh college. It's amazing how much I love it here. Living on my own, studying what I'm interested in, staying up late facebook stalking people with my roommates, pulling all nighters to do homework, and In-n-Out runs at 1 in the morning. I can't believe how much fun it's been so far. Don't hate, just because I'm still singing the praises. I'm only a freshman remember? I'm trying to figure out how I enjoyed high school, compared to how much better college is.
Anyways, want to know some of the things I really do like most about college, specifically BYU? Of course you do, otherwise you would have quit reading by now. There are many, many things I love, but one big one is all the people here, and how diverse everyone is. I'm sure many of you are thinking 'BYU? Diverse? Ya right, everyone who goes there is a white mormon.' That opinion, my dear friends, is completely false. I have many classes with black people. There's a thousand asians on campus. And I've met several people who, in fact, are not LDS. But that's not what I mean. By diverse I mean more specifically the different types of people around me. Only yesterday I saw a guy wearing a kilt around campus. It takes confidence to wear a kilt with swag, but he was doing it, and succeeding. Because I'm at BYU, and it's still pretty close to the beginning of the semester everyone is extremely friendly. Not a day has gone by where I haven't met someone new. There have been several people who I've hung out with that I just met then, and who I haven't seen since.
That's another beautiful thing about college. I can hang out with whoever I want, when I want. I can hang out with someone one day and if things don't click then it's not a big deal, I most likely won't ever see them again. But if you do kind of click with someone then you've got a friend. You have to try to actually get to know someone here, it's not like you are forced to get to know someone. And that's a lot better, because it means you actually like the people you hang out with. It's easier to surround yourself with those who build you up, those who make you laugh, and those who you can be yourself with.
This brings me to point 3. Being yourself. College is amazing that way. I can be myself, and I don't need to feel ashamed about it. People here don't judge, or if they do then I don't care. I no longer have to fit into a social category to have friends. I can hang out with football players in one class, then go to another class and hang out with computer nerds. It no longer matters what they do or what they like, because they are all amazing people who are just great to spend time with.
College has already changed me in that way. No longer do I judge someone on what they're wearing or the activities they're involved in, because I've already been surprised by those around me. It's a great feeling, and it's helping me realize who I am. I'm no longer the doctor's daughter, the girl on the news, the weirdo dancing in the school parking lot, the girl with the accent, the crazy driver careening around corners in a minivan, or any other things I've been known for my whole life. I'm just Lindsey. And although I'm still not completely sure what that means, I'm having a blast figuring it out :)

When in college...

Alright. So, apparently blogging is the thing to do in college, especially at BYU. And since it seems like all my roommates ever do is blog-stalk people, I decided I'd make a blog, so they'd listen to me every once in a while (love you guys :)) Anyways, to start off this blog, I thought I'd just list some things I've realized so far, in my two weeks at college. Here goes:

• Having the ability to cook pasta and toast does not mean you can cook. And bread, cheese, and noodles get old, very quickly.
• Related to the above post, instant mashed potatoes can make a very delicious meal, but only every once in a while.
• Bikes are sketchy.
• Going from a town where you know everyone and their dog, to a campus where you know hardly anyone is a shock. Yet it is oh-so-exciting at the same time.
• There is always a line at Jamba Juice.
• The most exciting parties and the deepest conversations always occur at 3 in the morning.
• You know someone is a good friend when they'll drive 10 minutes out of their way to spend 5 minutes unscrewing the death pedals on your bike. Especially without giving you crap for struggling with them in the first place.
• Homework is always the first thing on your mind, but the last thing to get done.
• Just because you spent years with someone, does not mean you miss them when you leave.
• Popcorn dipped in chocolate milk is a prime study snack.
• If you can't cook, you have no chance with guys. Bummer.
• Motorized scooters are just ok. Razor scooters = instant swag.

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. I'll add to this list from time to time. I think this concludes my first blog post. Hopefully it will be followed by a few more. We'll see :)